Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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