my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
