There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
