google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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