ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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