i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
