Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
