come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
