I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
