how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
