Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
