My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
