It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
