"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
