And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
