Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
