Already got asked if we're dating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
