At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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