before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm sobbing to NWA
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
