on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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