i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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