i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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