We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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