Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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