sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
