i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
