I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
