So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
