After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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