they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
