im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I bet he comes in French.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize