Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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