I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So drunk its hurt
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
