All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
