idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize