You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
