you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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