What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
