she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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