I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
