Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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