I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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