so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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