I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
