i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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