She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
