I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wear drunk well.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
