Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
