Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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