Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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