AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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