I want to make a zoo with you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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