mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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