I think im going to throw up on grandma
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
