i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
even my farts smell like vagina
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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