My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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