my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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