Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
