Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
