no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize