So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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