i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
